Related:

• Never fight an inanimate object. -- P. J. O'Rourke
• The goal of all inanimate objects is to resist man and ultimately defeat him. -- Russell Bake
• Ralph's Observation: It is a mistake to let any mechanical object realise that you are in a hurry.
• Never let an amateur whip you.
• The probability of an event's occurring varies directly with the perversity of the inanimate object involved and inversely with product of its desirability and the effort expended to produce it.
  -- Walter Mule...
• I was standing in the kitchen one day, fixing a sandwich or something, when suddenly I heard a very distinct "sneeze" emanate from the fridge.
  Naturally curious, I opened the door and scrutinized the various food items....
• Never let a debt go unpaid... by you or to you.
• I'll never let you live this down, Bob!
• Never let your willpower get the best of you.