Related:

• SHAMPOO Although shampoo is designed to clean hair, its name gives away its true make-up
  artificial shit. For centuries the aristocracy continually got very annoyed, and beheaded the shit-sodden peasants for having less dandruff than they did....
• INJECTION Medical procedure especially developed to scare the shit out of the patient, and give the doctor a feeling of power.
  Just sit very still, Mr Jones, while I stick this bloody great needle in you....
• Barbara: George, it's time to get dressed. George
  N'uh huh. Not going outside today, not with those neighbors....
• There is an epidemic that is spreading across our world.
  Nobody knows where it came from, but more and more people are catching it....
• Jacques: First, you must get to know your lane. Feel the slickness, feel the slippery finish.
  Caresses it, experience it. Quite smooth, isn't it?...
• GARDEN The garden is where all the nasty bugs and insects that you see on those wildlife documentaries are.
  A succession of features on spiders, ants, bees and wasps, all filmed using really expensive lenses, have left me scared shitless of the slightest bit of greenery....
• INTERDIGIT Another one of those words that no-one of any importance ever uses.
  Probably devised by the same guy who thought up "recalcitrant"....
• TELEMARKETING The practice of ringing you up when you're on the toilet just to ask you what you think about council merge
  would you like to donate to charity X, or would you like to get Call Waiting put on your phone....
• URCHIN Descriptive of a mischievous child, especially a boy, who has not destroyed any of your property.
  An urchin who *has* destroyed some of your property is more properly known as a "little bastard that I'm gonna lynch if I get my hands on him....