Related:

• My computer's getting jealous... of the time I spend with my wife.
• I still miss my ex-wife, but my aim is getting better.
• I'm too sexy for this class.
• Homer: See? You don't need to spend a lot of money to have a first- class wedding reception.
  [open a box, revealing a whale-shaped cake reading "To a Whale of a Wife"] Marge...
• Roses are red, and violets are too expensive for you.
• My wife thinks I'm too nosy. At least that's what she keeps scribbling in her diary.
  -- Drake Sathe...
• Obedience is the gateway through which knowledge, yes, and love, too, enter the mind of the child.
  -- Anne Sulliva...
• I think my wife may be getting somewhat overweight.
  "Oh, how can you tell?" "Well, last night when she sat on my face, I couldn't hear the stereo....