Related:

• Homer: I've never reached to you before but my wife is in her hour of need.
  Your help could make all the difference in the world....
• I love my wife and my Turbo C, sure miss he
• My wife or my modem? Gee, I'll miss her....
• I thought my mother was a bad cook, but at least her gravy used to move about. -- Tony Hancock
• Tony: Sorry we're late. Could we have the money now?
  Marge: The answer -- is no. Tony: I'm afraid I must insist....
• I was walking down Madison Avenue and I saw a very good-looking tie in a shop window.
  So I went in. Before I could say anything the manager said, "Oh, Tony Randall!...
• Here lies my wife: her let her lie! Now she's at rest, and so am I.
  -- John Dryden, epitaph intended for his wife...
• My ex-wife's a cat lover. I sent her a kzin for her birthday.
• My wife--God bless her--was in labor for thirty-two hours.
  And I was faithful to her the entire time. -- Jonathan Katz...