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• My uncle is a Southern planter. He's an undertaker in Alabama. -- Fred Alle
• My uncle got a job driving a cab. He had the cab parked right in front of Grand Central Station, and an Episcopal bishop got into my uncle's cab.
  He said, "Take me to Christ Church." So my uncle took him up to St....
• I once asked my father if things were bad for him during the Depression.
  He said the first six months were bad, then he got used to me. -- Rodney Dangerfield...
• My uncle invented the solar-powered funeral home. He's got basic solar technology, big panels on the roof, the sun beats down, it heats up the panels.
  Trouble is, he can't cremate, he can only poach. -- Heywood Bank...
• I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store and he asked for my autograph.
  -- Shirley Temple...
• I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store and he asked for my autograph.
  -- Shirley Temple...
• I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store and he asked for my autograph.
  Shirley Temple Black, actress, singer, and US ambassado...