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• My girlfriend gives good headache
• CAN'T whistle at my girlfriend, she leaves me breathless!
• I call my girlfriend BASEBALL...She won't play without a diamond.
• My girlfriend got a computer and modem -- now she's Shareware!
• My ex-girlfriend was fat. How fat is she? She sweats gravy. -- Ben Creed
• My girlfriend told me that she was seeing another man. I told her to rub her eyes. -- Emo Philip
• I'm not a lesbian, but my girlfriend is.
• My girlfriend and I went on a picnic. I don't know how she did it, but she got poison ivy on the brain.
  When it itched, the only way she could scratch it was to think about sandpaper. -- Steven Wrigh...
• Fry: "Hey, my girlfriend had one of those. Actually, it wasn't her's, it was her dad's.
  Actually, she wasn't my girlfriend, she just lived next door and never closed her curtains....