Related:

• PERFECTION, n. An imaginary state of quality distinguished from the actual by an element known as excellence
  an attribute of the critic. The editor of an English magazine having received a letter pointing out the erroneous nature of his views and style, and signed "Perfection," promptly wrote at the foot of the lette...
• PROPERTY, n. Any material thing, having no particular value, that may be held by A against the cupidity of B.
  Whatever gratifies the passion for possession in one and disappoints it in all others....
• BEHAVIOR, n. Conduct, as determined, not by principle, but by breeding.
  The word seems to be somewhat loosely used in Dr....
• EXTINCTION, n. The raw material out of which theology created the future state.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• LAWFUL, adj. Compatible with the will of a judge having jurisdiction.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• HOUSELESS, adj. Having paid all taxes on household goods.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• Self-evident, adj. Evident to one's self and to nobody else.
  -- Ambrose Bierce "The Devil's Dictionary...
• BOUNDARY, n. In political geography, an imaginary line between two nations, separating the imaginary rights of one from the imaginary rights of the other.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• PITIFUL, adj. The state of an enemy of opponent after an imaginary encounter with oneself.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...