Related:

• If you really want to annoy your neighbors and worry them no end, cause them to sit up nights in anxiety, than there is but one way to do it.
  Tell the truth about them. Truth needs no embellishment and is always better than any fiction possible....
• Did you know that if you took all the economists in the world and lined them up end to end, they'd still point in the wrong direction?
• If you took all of the grains of sand in the world, and lined them up end to end in a row, you'd be working for the government!
  -- Mr. Interesting...
• If you take a computer apart and put it back together enough times you will end up with two computers.
  .. neither of which work....
• My friend Sappo was real depressed. He said, "I can't get any girls.
  I said, "Don't worry, listen, tomorrow we're going swimming....
• Never throw mud. You may miss your mark, but in any event, you'll end up with dirty hands.
• I put it to you all. I think we shall end up with a fine crew.
  if we avoid temptation -- Picard, "The Naked Now", stardate 41209.2...
• If three people say you are an ass, put on a bridle.
• Three blondes are attempting to change a light bulb.
  One of them decides to call 911: Blonde: We need help....