Related:

• I'm out of sick leave, so I called in dead.
• I looked out my window, and saw Kyle Pettys' car upside down, then I thought 'One of us is in real trouble'.
  -- Davey Allison, re: a 150MPH crash...
• QOTD: I looked out my window, and saw Kyle Pettys' car upside down, then I thought 'One of us is in real trouble'.
  -- Davey Allison, on a 150 m.p.h. crash...
• My God, you're talking about a positive mental attitude and you haven't even had your planet demolished today.
  I woke up this morning and thought I'd have a nice relaxed day, do a bit of reading, brush the dog....
• Out of cards on drive D
• I was born by Caesarian section...but not so you'd notice.
  It's just that when I leave a house, I go out through the window. -- Steven Wrigh...
• The time of departure will be delayed by the square of the number of people involved.
  Simply stated, if I wish to leave the city at 5 PM, I will most likely depart at 5...
• That's a nice dress - could I talk you out of it? -- Pick up line
• I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam
  I looked into the soul of the boy sitting next to me. -- Woody Alle...