Related:

• A five-year-old kid raised his hand at school. The teacher declined to let him leave the room.
  Five minutes later she reversed herself. She said, "All right, Sonny, you may go now....
• My boy is mean kid. I came home the other day and saw him taping worms to the sidewalk, he sits there and watches the birds get hernias.
  Well, only last Christmas I gave him a B-B gun and he gave me a sweatshirt with a bulls-eye on the back....
• Some guy came running in the other night and said, "Somebody stole my car!
  I said, "Did you see him?" He said, "No, but I got his license plate." -- Bill Barne...
• A little kid went up to Santa and asked him, "Santa, you know when I'm bad right?
  And Santa says, "Yes, I do." The little kid then asks, "And you know when I'm sleeping?...
• I managed to say, "Sorry," and no more. I knew that he disliked me to cry.
  This time he said, watching me, "On some occasions it is better to weep....
• He was a little "off" I think is the term ... One day he said to me, "I'm gonna fly.
  I said, "I believe ya can, Maynard, I've seen ya do a lot of wild things....
• I sent a letter to the fish, I told them, "This is what I wish.
  The little fishes of the sea, They sent an answer back to me....
• I sent a letter to the fish, I told them, This is what I wish.
  The little fishes of the sea, They sent an answer back to me....