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• WE HAVE A TIE, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN!
• Ladies and gentlemen, the question you have to ask yourselves on November 8th is whose judgement do you trust?
  Do you trust the judgement of a man who traded arms to the Ayatollah and used that money to fund an illegal war in Central America, or do you trust a son of Greek immigrants, who can think and talk in complete sentences?...
• Announcer: KBBL talk radio. And now Springfield's favorite conservative and author of the well-selling book, "Only Turkeys Have Left Wings.
  Ladies and gentlemen, Birch Barlow. Carl: Ecch!...
• You can cage a swallow, can't you, but you can't swallow a cage, can you?
  Girl, bathing on Bikini, eyeing boy, finds boy eyeing bikini on bathing girl....
• I figure that the best way to figure what the IRS will figure is to get them to figure what you are figuring that they will figure that you are not really figuring what you want them to figure that you figure.
  If you figure all of this out sufficiently, you have got to figure that they can't figure you out in the first place....
• Ladies and gentlemen, ladies and gentlemen -- please.
  We have a major break in the case. We recovered the burglar's hankerchief from one of the crime scenes....
• Good evening ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to the universal amphitheater.
• Horses sweat, gentlemen perspire, but ladies GLOW.
• Ladies and Gentlemen, Elvis has left the planet.