Related:

• It's getting *SO* bad that Chelsea wants to divorce her parents.
• We ought to be very grateful that we have tools. Millions of years ago people did not have them, and home projects were extremely difficult.
  For example, when a primitive person wanted to put up paneling, he had to drive the little paneling nails into the cave wall with his bare fist, so generally the paneling wound up getting spattered with primitive blood, which isn't really all that bad when you consider how ugly paneling is to begin with....
• We ought to be very grateful that we have tools. Millions of years ago people did not have them, and home projects were extremely difficult.
  For example, when a primitive person wanted to put up paneling, he had to drive the little paneling nails into the cave wall with his bare fist, so generally the paneling wound up getting spattered with primitive blood, which isn't really all that bad when you consider how ugly paneling is to begin with....
• Things are getting so bad muggers won't go out alone.
• Nobody wants constructive criticism. It's all we can do to put up with constructive praise.