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• It was revealed this week that the Contras are breaking up, because one of them is dating Yoko.
  -- Dennis Miller, SNL Weekend Update...
• Just remember that when you hook up to a computer you're hooking up to all the computers that computer has hooked up to in the last 5 years.
• Democratic Vice-Presidential candidate Lloyd Bentson today said that he would now return to his old job as the Grandfather Clock on the Captain Kangaroo show.
  -- Dennis Miller, SNL Weekend Update...
• Isn't it ironic that Herman Wouk's WAR AND REMEMBRANCE cost $
  110,000,000 to produce when World War II itself cost only $...
• A photo is displayed of Senator Dan Quayle holding a pumpkin to the left of his head.
  ] "Here's an Update Quiz: what's the difference between these two spherical objects?...
• Have you hugged your computer lately?
• 0438 Have you ever set up a blind date over the computer? -- from THE HACKER TEST
• Sorry, computer foul-up!
• The only thing faster than the computer is the weekend.