In the Plaza Hotel once, when I was doing the quiz show, there was a priest
in the elevator. I hope you're not offended by this--I'd tell a story about
a rabbi but it doesn't fit, and neither did the rabbi and they finally
threw him out of the synagogue. Anyhow, this priest says to me, "Aren't you
Groucho Marx?" I said yes. He says, "Gee, my mother's crazy about you." And
I said, "Really? I didn't know you fellas had mothers." I had a priest stop
me in Montreal some years ago. He came up and said, "Aren't you Groucho
Marx? May I shake your hand?" I said fine. I shook hands with him and he
said, "I want to thank you for all the joy you've put in this world." And I
said, "I want to thank you for the joy you've taken out of it."
-- Groucho Marx
in the elevator. I hope you're not offended by this--I'd tell a story about
a rabbi but it doesn't fit, and neither did the rabbi and they finally
threw him out of the synagogue. Anyhow, this priest says to me, "Aren't you
Groucho Marx?" I said yes. He says, "Gee, my mother's crazy about you." And
I said, "Really? I didn't know you fellas had mothers." I had a priest stop
me in Montreal some years ago. He came up and said, "Aren't you Groucho
Marx? May I shake your hand?" I said fine. I shook hands with him and he
said, "I want to thank you for all the joy you've put in this world." And I
said, "I want to thank you for the joy you've taken out of it."
-- Groucho Marx
Related:
- On the old "You Bet Your Life" program, Groucho Marx was getting to know
one of his contestants.
The man told Groucho that he had 10 children. "Why... - You told me about that yesterday.
I know, but I left out a comma.
Groucho... - A horrible little boy came up to me and said, `You know in your book
The Martian Chronicles?' I said,
`Yes?' He said, `You know where you talk about Deimos... - I'd horsewhip you if I had a horse.
--
Groucho... - A fella's talking to his priest. He said, "I gave up sex for Lent .
Well, I tried to, but the last day of Lent my wife... - I got into an elevator at work and this man followed in after me.
I pushed '1' and he just stood there... I said 'Hi... - Three fellas up in heaven. St. Peter's interviewing them.
He says to the first guy, "How did you get up here...
From the same category:
- To fish in troubled waters.
-- Mathew Henry (1662-1714)
-
Commentaries, Psalm... - The BBS that asks the question,
but doesn't care about the answer... - You will be had because you won't be conscious of something,
and somebody else will and won't leave that information... - We judge individual man and women as we do nations and races-
by the character of their achievement and by their... - I walk as a wolf among
sheep.....
