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• I hate life, I hate death and everything in between just doesn't interest me. -- Chris Rapie
• An apple a day keeps the doctor away, but an onion a day keeps everyone away.
• Never make a decision you can get someone else to make.
  -- Pfeifer's Principle No one keeps a record of the decisions you could have made but didn't....
• I have tolerance for everyone... except Rush Limbaugh.
• I have no mouth, and I must burp.
• Three things must epigrams, like bees, have all, A sting, and honey, and a body small.
  What is an epigram?...
• When I was a little boy, I had but a little wit, 'Tis a long time ago, and I have no more ye
  Nor ever ever shall, until that I die, For the longer I live the more fool am I....
• I have had a dream, past the wit of man to say what dream it was.
  -- William Shakespeare (1564-1616), A Midsummer Night's Dream -- Act iv, Sc. 1...
• Everyone needs belief in something. I believe I'll have another beer.