Related:

• To me old age is fifteen years older than I am. -- Bernard M. Baruch
• The people in the village were real poor, so none of the children had any toys.
  But this one little boy had gotten an old enema bag and filled it with rocks, and he would go around and whap the other children across the face with it....
• I have a funny daddy Who goes in and out with me And everything that baby does Daddy's sure to see, And everything that baby says, My daddy's sure to tell.
  You _m_u_s_t have read my daddy's verse. I hope he fries in Hell. -- Ogden Nash...
• Stayed in bed all morning just to pass the time, There's something wrong here
  here can be no more denying, One of us is changing, or maybe we just stopped trying, And it's too late, baby, now, it's too late, Though we really did try to make it, Something inside has died and I can't hide and I just can't fake it....
• I drive way too fast to worry what foods will kill me!!
• Rogers: "Did you have any other children?" Beverly
  My husband died a number of years ago, Wes was our only child....
• Rev.: I now pronounce you husband and wife, you may now kiss.
  .. each other. [as Troy turns himself to smile to the cameras, Selma ends up kissing him on the cheek] Selma...
• I dislike companies that have a we-are-the-high-priests-of-hardware-so-you'll- like-what-we-give-you attitude.
  I like commodity markets in which iron-and- silicon hawkers know that they exist to provide fast toys for software types like me to play with....
• Oh, baby, you knnooow what I LIKE!