I lost a button hole today. --

Related:

• Today I...........No, that wasn't me. --
  Steven...
• Today I met with a subliminal advertising executive for just a second.
  Steven...
• Four years ago... no, it was yesterday. Today I...
  No, that wasn't me. Sometimes I... No, I don't. ...
• I got food poisoning today. I don't know when I'm gonna use it.
  Steven...
• I was skydiving horizontally. --
  Steven...
• I still have my Christmas Tree. I looked at it today.
  Sure enough, I couldn't see any forests. -- Steven...
• I saw a small bottle of cologne and asked if it was for sale.
  She said, "It's free with purchase." I asked her...
• Sometimes I...No, I don't. --
  Steven...
• Let me take you a button-hole lower. -- William Shakespeare,
  "Love's Labour's...