Related:

• Quote #176 Many things do not happen as they ought.
  Most things do not happen at all. It is for the conscientious historian to correct these defects....
• Marge: Honey, I know you feel a little silly saying the same four words over and over, but you shouldn't.
  You're making people happy, and that's a very hard thing to do....
• I was sitting with a little girl of eight one afternoon.
  She looked up from her Hans Andersen and said, "Does m-i-r-a-g-e spell marriage, Mr....
• Ross enters, wearing a white suit with a little red bow tie] Ro
  Hey, you guys! Guess what? Rachel: [looking at the outfit] Got a job on a river boat?...
• An eighty-year-old woman is rocking away the afternoon on her porch when she sees an old, tarnished lamp sitting near the steps.
  She picks it up, rubs it gently, and lo and behold a genie appears!...
• I have only one ambition left: I should like to have a good epitaph. -- Prince Bismark
• I just got my PRINCE bumper sticker.. But now I can't remember WHO he is... -- Zippy the Pinhead
• One time a little parakeet flew in our window. My mom was making some hot chocolate, and she had a whole boiling pot of hot milk.
  And the parakeet flew right into that boiling milk....
• Homer: Welcome to the Simpson residence or "casa de Simpson," as I call it.
  Grimes: Yeah, what did you want to see me about, Simpson?...