Related:

• Anybody abuse rental cars? If I'm really bored I'll take one to Earl Scheib and have it painted for $
  29.95. This really messes up their paperwork for months and months....
• Who are you? said the caterpiller. Alice replied rather shyly
  I -- I hardly know, Sir, just at present -- at least I know who I was when I got up this morning, but I think I must have changed several times since then....
• I'm on a plane and it hits me: When did it become a federal regulation that you have to have at least seven crying babies on every flight?
  I just want to know: Where are they going? Why are they on planes?...
• Hey! I don't have to put up with this! I'm rich!
• FUBB -- Fouled Up Beyond Belief
• TARFU -- Things are Really Fouled Up
• Why wasn't I born rich instead of beautiful?
• You don't have to worry about me. I might have been born yesterday...but I stayed up all night.
• You have to be very careful these days. If you get involved with somebody you have to know their health history.
  The best way to find out is to look through their medicine cabinet....