Related:

• Some people think of wizards as nothing more than men in pointy hats who like to go around turning people into toads.
  Nothing could be farther from the truth. Perhaps wizards should come together and agree on a saying or two to better humanize their professio...
• My counsin is a statistician and he regularly draws wild postulations from which he deduces unwarrented assumptions which lead to his foregone conclusions.
  It is his job to support all of this with numerical facts which substantiate these bizarre prejudices....
• A sheet of paper crossed my desk the other day and as I read it, realization of a basic truth came over me.
  So simple! So obvious we couldn't see it. John Knivlen, Chairman of Polamar Repeater Club, an amateur radio group, had discovered how IC circuits work....
• Marge: I'd like your attention, please. Homer: Quiet Marge!
  This is my big moment! Bart the Bloody Pulp Simpson is on the ropes....
• My uncle invented the solar-powered funeral home. He's got basic solar technology, big panels on the roof, the sun beats down, it heats up the panels.
  Trouble is, he can't cremate, he can only poach. -- Heywood Bank...
• My only books Were woman's looks,-- And folly 's all they 've taught me.
  -- Thomas Moore (1779-1852) -- The Time I 've lost in wooing...
• Troy: {[on TV] Now turn to the next problem. If you have three Pepsis and drink one, how much more refreshed are you?
  You, the redhead in the Chicago school system?...
• He has been known by many names; the Prince of Lies, the Director, Lucifer, Belial, and once, at a party, some obnoxious drunk kept calling him "Dude".
  -- Stig's Inferno...
• Your imagination, my dear fellow, is worth more than you imagine -- Louis Arago