If You Were My Husband, I Would Feed You Poison. If You Were My Wife, Madam, I Would Take It!

Related:

• Sir, if you were my husband, I would poison your drink.
  --Lady Astor to Winston Churchill Madam, if you were my wife, I would drink it....
• Lady Nancy Astor: "Winston, if you were my husband, I'd put poison in your coffee.
  Winston Churchill: "Nancy, if you were my wife, I'd drink it....
• Lady Astor: "Mr. Churchill, you're drunk!" Winston Churchill
  Yes, and you, Madam, are ugly. But tomorrow, I shall be sober....
• After a heated argument on some trivial matter Nancy [Astor] .
  . . shouted, "If I were your wife I would put poison in your coffee!...
• I [] My Cat. I [] My Dog. (Would you [] my ex-wife ?)
• She was asking her insurance agent: 'If I were to take out a $
  250,000 insurance policy on my husband and he should die the next day, what would I get?...
• You or I must yield up his life to Ahrimanes. I would rather it were you.
  I should have no hesitation in sacrificing my own life to spare yours, but we take stock next week, and it would not be fair on the company....