Related:

• Christmas Chopin time...make a Liszt.
• You have to play Mozart like Chopin and Chopin like Mozart. -- Pablo Casals (to Vladimir Horowitz)
• How did you find the weather when you were on vacation?" "Just went outside and there it was.
• Did you hear about the <ethnic> that went to the airport?
  Saw a sign that said 'Airport Left', so he turned around and went home....
• Did you hear about the french soldier who kisses both his wife's cheeks before he went to the front.
• Did you hear about the little boy that found a fifty cent piece, so he went home for some money.
• Did you hear about the Newfie Who went flyfishing and came home with a seven pound bluebottle.
• But, did you see that with your eyes open?
• Your grandparents did not endure the indignities of a steerage journey to Ellis Island so that you could stand outside a discotheque and beg a wallpaper designer to take you in with him.
  -- Fran Lebowitz...