Related:

• Radioactive Halibut makes great fission chips!
• The following appeared in a clothing industry trade journal in the country of Sartoria.
  "A popular fashion magazine recently conducted a survey of consumers' opinions about clothing prices, using prepaid mailing envelopes....
• Macomb, Illinois, law makes it illegal for a car to impersonate a wolf.
• The only time in our lives we like to get old is when we're kids.
  If you're less than 10 years old you're so excited about aging you think in fractio...
• Ask Troi, and do the opposite of what she says. -- Jeff R. Lamb, University of Illinois at Urbana
• One time a little parakeet flew in our window. My mom was making some hot chocolate, and she had a whole boiling pot of hot milk.
  And the parakeet flew right into that boiling milk....
• The following report appeared in a memo from the vice president of the Southside Transportation Authority.
  "We should abandon our current five-year plan to purchase additional buses to serve the campus of Southside University, because students there are unlikely to use them....
• Astrology is] 100 percent hokum, Ted. As a matter of fact, the first edition of the Encyclopaedia Britannica, written in 1771 -- 1771!
  aid that this belief system is a subject long ago ridiculed and reviled....
• Survey taker to resident: Do you realize that that choice puts you in the two- percent lunatic fringe?
  -- Bernhard...