Related:

• If you hadn't nailed him to the perch, he'd be pushing up the daisies!
• He's not pining, he's passed on! This parrot won't squawk!
  He's ceased to be! He's expired, and gone to meet his maker!...
• Voom???? That parrot wouldn't voom if you put 4000 volts through him.
  It's bleedin' demised... This parrot is no more. It has ceased to be....
• I'm returning this note to you, instead of your paper, because it (your paper) presently occupies the bottom of my bird cage.
  -- English Professor, Providence College...
• I'm returning this note to you, instead of your paper, because it (your paper) presently occupies the bottom of my bird cage.
  -- English Professor, Providence College...
• Why Didn't Jesus go to college? Because he got nailed on the boards.
• Republicans study the financial pages of the newspaper.
  Democrats put them in the bottom of the bird cage....
• If your father told you he could determine the sex of a puppy by looking at the bottoms of its feet, he was lying.