Related:

• If you ever crawl inside an old hollow log and go to sleep
  and while you're in there some guys come and seal up both ends and then put it on a truck and take it to another city, boy, I don't know what to tell you....
• Sometimes I think I'd be better off dead. No, wait.
  Not me, you. -- Deep Thoughts, by Jack Handey...
• I think a good product would be "Baby Duck Hat". It's a fake baby duck, which you strap on top of your head.
  Then you go swimming underwater until you find a mommy duck and her babies, and you join them....
• Sometimes when I feel like killing someone, I do a little trick to calm myself down.
  I'll go over to the person's house and ring the doorbell....
• Hackers do it in O(n log n).
• I hope they never find out that lightning has a lot of vitamins in it, because do you hide from it or not?
  -- Deep Thoughts, by Jack Handey...
• When you go to a party at somebody's house, don't automatically assume that the drinks are free.
  Ask, and ask often. -- Deep Thoughts, by Jack Handey...
• In Case of Fire, Log off Promptly.
• I think it would be better for us both if you were to just log out.