Related:

• You know it's going to be a rotten day when... your birthday cake collapses from the weight of the candles.
• There is an art, or, rather, a knack to flying. The knack lies in learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss.
  Pick a nice day and try it. The first part is easy....
• You don't float with your weight as it is. You drowned.
• If you want your boomerang to come back, throw it first!
• You know you have a weight problem when your doctor suggests that you get into group therapy - by yourself!
• You might say that senators who join a filibuster in the U.S. Senate throw their wait around.
• Marge: [getting thrown on top of Homer] Whoa! Home
  Oh! Hello, honey. Marge: Hi. Erm, there's something I've been meaning to ask you....
• It's not often that you get so much class entertainment outside your bedroom window or outside your bedroom, period.
  -- Groucho Marx...