Related:

• A man gets on a train with his little boy, and gives the conductor only one ticket.
  How old's your kid?" the conductor says, and the father says "He's four years old....
• He who talks too much commits a sin.
• He talks to farts, man! -- Magic Nose Gobli
• Money Talks - and it usually says NO!!
• I distrust a man who says 'when.' If he's got to be careful not to drink too much, it's because he's not to be trusted when he does.
  -- Sidney Greenstreet, _The Maltese Falcon_...
• Some have thought that I perhaps do not care for Dan Quayle as our current Vice President.
  This is incorrect. I love the man so much I literally worship the quicksand he walks on....
• Beer doesn't care how much you earn.
• How much time he gains who does not look to see what his neighbour says or does or thinks, but only at what he does himself, to make it just and holy.
  -- Marcus Aurelius Antoninus (121-180 AD) -- Meditations, iv, 18...