Related:

• I think the mistake a lot of us make is thinking the state-appointed psychiatrist is our "friend.
  -- Deep Thoughts, by Jack Handey...
• A lot of people I know believe in positive thinking, and so do I.
  I believe everything positively stinks. -- Lew Col...
• I hope they never find out that lightning has a lot of vitamins in it, because do you hide from it or not?
  -- Deep Thoughts, by Jack Handey...
• I do a lot of research, especially in ladies apartments.
• Sometimes when I feel like killing someone, I do a little trick to calm myself down.
  I'll go over to the person's house and ring the doorbell....