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• I have two rules about smoking. The first is that I never smoke while I'm sleeping.
  The second is that I never smoke more than one cigar at a time. -- Mark Twai...
• I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it." Mark Twai
• I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying that I approved of it. -- Mark Twai
• When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around.
  But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years....
• When I was fourteen years old, I was amazed at how unintelligent my father was.
  By the time I turned twenty-one, I was astounded how much he had learned in the last seven years....
• Time to go home and write mom a nice long letter.
• I would rather have my ignorance than another man's knowledge, because I have got so much more of it.
  -- Mark Twain (Samuel Clemens) (1835-1910)...
• I have been complimented many times and that embarrasses me
  I always feel they have not said enough. MARK TWAIN...