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• I bought a million lottery tickets. I won a dollar. -- Steven Wrigh
• I bought a house, on a one-way dead-end road. I don't know how I got there. -- Steven Wrigh
• I went to the hardware store and bought some used paint.
  It was in the shape of a house. I also bought some batteries, but they weren't included....
• I bought an ant farm. I don't know where I'm gonna find a tractor that small. -- Steven Wrigh
• I bought some powdered water, but I don't know what to add to it. -- Steven Wrigh
• I bought some land that was kind of cheap. It was on someone else's property. -- Steven Wrigh
• Yesterday I bought a decaffeinated coffee table. And you can tell by looking at it.
  -- Steven Wrigh...
• I saw a small bottle of cologne and asked if it was for sale.
  She said, "It's free with purchase." I asked her if anyone bought anything today....