Related:

• When I did my self-portrait, I left all the pimples out because you always should.
  Pimples are a temporary condition and they don't have anything to do with what you really look like....
• Are my car indicators working?" "Yes, no, yes, no . . .
• A woman was married to a golfer. One day she asked, "If I were to die, would you remarry?
  After some thought, the man replied, "Yes, I've been very happy in this marriage and I would want to be this happy again....
• When the fog came in on little cat feet last night, it left these little muddy paw prints on the hood of my car.
• I am always right. Except when I'm left, or bluffing.
• Marge: [thinking] Everywhere I look, someone is breaking the law.
  Dog, no leash. Man, littering. Horse, not wearing diaper....
• I wanna die with NOTHING left working![GRIN]
• I have a talent for idleness which is tragically wasted by my working here
• I was unable to stop in time and my car crashed into the other vehicle.
  The driver and passengers then left for a vacation with injuries....