Related:

• Marge: It's almost lunch time. Do you know where your brother is tutoring?
  Lisa: Pfft. Tutoring? The only thing Bart's teaching is guerilla combat in Shelbyville....
• Doctor: Mr. Simpson, after talking to your wife, we believe you're no threat to yourself or others.
  Homer: That's the most flattering thing anyone has ever said to me....
• Hi, I'm Homer Simpson, I need some guidance, Counselor.
  -- Homer visits the school guidance counselor, "The Way We Wa...
• D'oh! English! Who needs that? I'm never going to England.
  Come on, let's smoke. -- Homer Simpson, talking Barney into cutting class The Way We Wa...
• Woo Hoo! Good news everybody! Because I endangered lives, we can fly anywhere we want!
  -- Homer Simpson Fear of Flying...
• Homer: [excited] Wait till I tell Marge! Nigel: [with consternation] Oh, yes.
  ..Bouffant Betty. Well, I would prefer if we kept your marriage a secret....
• Bart: Oh, Dad, can we keep him? Homer: But he's a loser!
  He's pathetic! He's... SLH: [licks Homer's face] Home...
• Nerd 2: Oh, man, I can't believe you failed. Home
  [whining] Oh, I'm going to lose my job just 'cause I'm dangerously unqualified!...
• Homer: Wait a minute...even Lenny is teaching a class!
  Look at the way they admire and adore him....