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• The following appeared in a memo at the XYZ company.
  "When XYZ lays off employees, it pays Delany Personnel Firm to offer those employees assistance in creating resum....
• The following appeared as a letter to the editor of a national newspaper.
  "Your recent article on corporate downsizing* in the United States is misleading....
• The following appeared in an editorial in the local newspaper of Workville.
  "Workers should be allowed to reduce their workload from 40 to 25 or even 20 hours per week because it is clear that people who work part-time instead of full-time have better health and improved morale....
• The following is a memo from the president of Cyberell Computer Company.
  "All of our customer-service employees recently attended a two-day retreat during which they received retraining in effective customer service....
• Getting laid off is better than not getting laid at all. -- Brett Isham
• Laid Off!: Gwen Home
• The following appeared in a health newsletter. "According to a recent study, people with many social ties report catching colds less often than do people with few social ties.
  Consequently, researchers conclude that having an active social life probably helps strengthen the immune system....
• Microsoft Employees Go On Strike, Demand Reduced Salaries REDMOND, WA -- Several hundred programmers walked off their jobs at Microsoft Headquarters on Friday to protest their shoddy public image.
  My friends all think I'm a servant of Satan because I get my paycheck from Microsoft," explained Microserf Eric Eshleman....
• Okay, blow jobs. Here's the secret: Few people actually enjoy giving blow jobs, as blow jobs are hard, awkward, drool-inducing work.
  Sore jaws and stiff necks are to be expected, and, as incentives go, a mouth full of come at the end of a job well done isn't exactly stock options....