Monica: I Feel Terrible, I Really Do. Rachel: Oh, I'm Sorry, Did My Back Hurt Your Knife?

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• Monica: Okay. It's-it's about Alan. There's something that you should know.
  I mean, there's really no easy way to say this.. uh....
• Rachel enters.] Monica: (seeing her) Okay, let's go!
  ! Let's hit the road!! Rachel: Hey! Monica: Let's get the show on it!...
• Monica: Hey, great skirt! Birthday present? Rachel
  Yeah. Monica: Oh, from who? Rachel: From you. I exchanged the blouse you got me....
• Ross: I didn't know what I was taking full responsibility for!
  Okay?! I didn't finish the whole letter! Rachel: What?...
• Monica: Pete's breaking up with me. All: What?! Monica
  I just checked my messages, and he said that when he gets back from Atlanta, we need to talk....
• Monica: Paolo, I really hate you for what you did to Rachel, [hands him a lasagna] but I still have five of these, so heat it at 375 until the cheese bubbles.
  Paolo: Grazie. Excerpt from the TV Show "Friend...
• Phoebe: Okay, Monica's are the biggest. Monica: These tiny, little non-breasts?
  ! Please, it's gotta be Rachel. Rachel: What, no, no, no, mine are deceptively small I mean, I-I-I actually sometimes, st-stuff my bra....
• Rachel: Ross, you had sex with another woman! [Cut to Monica's bedroom, both Monica and Phoebe gasp.
  ] Monica: Oh my God. Phoebe: Oh, I knew something had to be wrong, because my fingernails did not grow at all yesterday....
• Monica: Okay, all right don't judge me to much. Okay?
  Um, but I saw this info-mercial, and um, I swear to you I have never-ever bought anything on TV before, except for this mop....