Related:

• Love does not make the world go around, just up and down a bit.
• I say stay away from the miserable people, because misery does love company.
  Just look at a fly strip. You never see a fly stuck there saying, "Go around!...
• I love to go down to the schoolyard and watch all the little children jump up and down and run around yelling and screaming.
  ..They don't know I'm only using blanks. -- Emo Phillip...
• Lisa: Just make up some excuse! [running to hide] Home
  [answering the door] She's in the can. Go away. -- "I Love Lisa...
• Abe: Hot diggety! I'm going to smooch her like a mule eating an apple!
  [demonstrates] I even bought me some special novelty dentures....
• If all the rich people in the world divided up their money amongst themselves there wouldn't be enough to go around.
  -- Christina Stead...
• The wise man can pick up a grain of sand and envision a whole universe.
  But the stupid man will just lie down on some seaweed and roll around until he's completely draped in it....
• A piece of string goes into a bar, climbs up on a stool and orders a martini.
  Bartender says "Get outta here, we don't serve no strings in this joint....