You Can Get Yourself Clean, You Can Have A Good Meal..
You can get yourself clean, you can have a good meal..
Prison vs. Work IN PRISON...You spend the majority of your time in an 8x10 cell.
AT WORK...You spend most of your time in a 6x8 cubicle....
100 reasons why it's great to be a girl 1. free dinners 2.
free lunches 3. free brunches 4. free movies (you get the point) 5....
YOU KNOW YOU'RE DRINKING TOO MUCH COFFEE WHEN -- Juan Valdez named his donkey after you.
-- You ski uphill. -- You get a speeding ticket even when you're parked....
Some Reasons It's Great To Be a Guy: Phone conversations last 30 seconds You know useful stuff about tanks and airplanes A 5 day vacation requires only one suitcase Bathroom lines are 80% shorter You can open all your own jars Old friends don't give you crap if you've lost or gained weight When clicking through the channels you don't have to stop on every shot of someone crying You don't have to lug a bag of "necessary" items with you everywhere you go You can go to the bathroom alone Your last name stays put You can leave a hotel room bed unmade You can kill your own food The garage is all yours You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness You see the humor in "Terms of Endearment" You never have to clean the toile You can be showered and ready in 10 minutes Wedding plans take care of themselves If someone forgets to invite you to something
hey can still be your friend Your underwear costs $...
This country is great. It's the only place where you can borrow money for a downpayment, get a 1st and 2nd mortgage and call yourself a homeowner.
100 reasons it's great to be a guy: 1. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
2. Movie nudity is virtually always female. 3. You know stuff about tanks....
DETERIORATA (With apologies to Desiderata) - GO PLACIDLY AMID THE NOISE & WASTE.
REMEMBER WHAT COMFORT THERE MAY BE IN OWNING A PIECE THEREOF....
Realtor: first you folks tell me what you can afford, then we'll have a good laugh and go on from there.
15 things every woman SHOULD HAVE and SHOULD KNOW by the time she's 30.
[Author: Pam Satran <firstname.lastname@example.org> published by Glamour in May 1997] SHOULD HAVE...