Related:

• If a lawyer and an IRS agent were drowning, and you could only save one of them.
  .. Would you go to lunch or read the newspaper?...
• Q: What would you rather be: a light bulb or a bowling ball?
  A: It depends on whether you'd rather be screwed or fingered....
• Wish I could give you a BIG hug!!!!
• Signs That You Are No Longer A Kid ** You're asleep, but others worry that you're dead.
  ** You can live without sex but not without glasses....
• You know you are getting old when: 1. Everything hurts and what doesn't hurt doesn't work.
  2. The gleam in your eyes is from the sun hitting your bifocals....
• Question on an application form for a newspaper: 5.
  You have the choice of saving a drowning man or getting a Pulitzer Prize winning photograph....
• Exercise ? I would rather be space walking !
• If tree fell on florist, would he make sound?
• The national newspaper we would really like would have a reporting staff of seers and prophets and be called "USA Tomorrow.