Related:

• Next technology challenge: send coffee over modem lines!
• Things Dogs Must Try To Remember... I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's underwear when he's on the toilet.
  The garbage collector is NOT stealing our stuff. I do not need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm lying under the coffee table....
• Ok folks. 1. Everybody stand up. 2. Now, bend over and grab your knees.
  3. Good, next spell RUN very slowly. 4. ...Another sucker born every minute....
• I've fallen and I need Stand Up.
• Would you stand up and walk out on me??
• Things to do When Bored -Wax the ceiling -Rearrange political campaign signs -Sharpen your teeth -Play Houdini with one of your siblings -Braid your dog's hair -Clean and polish your belly button -Water your dog.
  ..see if he grows -Wash a tree -Knight yourself -Name your child Edsel -Scare Stephen King -Give your cat a mohawk -Purr -Mow your carpet -Play Pat Boone records backwards -Vacuum your lawn -Whine -Rake your carpet -Re-elect Richard Nixon -Critique "Three's Company" -Listen to a painting -Play with matches -Buff your cat -Race ferrets -Paint your house....
• INDIAN Cuisine is a challenge, eat it often!
• How many dope addicts does it take to screw in a light bulb?
  Two. One to roll it and one to light it up....
• Q: What do you call a sleeping bag in San Francisco? A: A fruit roll up.