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• PAINT IT LIKE A COW The Fair. I hadn’t been to one of these
  “regional events, held annually, consisting of farm and home product displays, and various competitions and entertainments,” since childhood....
• I didn't write that! It sounds more like Shakespeare!
• On their wedding night the husband was so self-conscious about the smallness of his penis that before undressing, he snapped off the light.
  Once he was in bed, he unziped his pants and handed his member to his bride....
• When you don't enforce laws, write more!
• A NEW YEAR’S ADAM ON CHRISTMAS EVE, BUD Beginnings end.
  ..and endings begin. That’s either a Biblical paraphrase or a Microsoft credo....
• Don't just read - write!
• Sign in a bookstore: "We treat you write.
• You can have peace. Or you can have freedom: LL
• Well, there's a chill in the air, a frost on the ground, and a large steaming pile of bullshit on the television.
  Yes, that's right, it's election time. Voting in CA should be an absolute blast this year, as we have the pleasure of voting on approximately 12,000 new "propositions....