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• A pessimist complains about noise when opportunity knock
• A father had two little sons, one of whom was an eternal optimist, while the other was a perpetual pessimist.
  One Christmas he decided try to temper both of their proclivitie...
• MONTHLY EVALUATION ------------------ Name: _______ Knowledge
  __ The son of a bitch really knows his sh*t __ Knows just enough to be dangerous __ Only half a brain and dangerous __ F**king brain dead....
• No one ever bets enough on the winner.
• There's this guy in a bar that's saying he knows everybody, and will bet anybody on it.
  So this guy walks up and says, "I bet you don't know Burt Rynolds....
• No one has ever bet enough on a winning horse.
• One good turn is usually enough to get lost.
• Facts I'm Not Sure You Really Need to Know: ** In every episode of Seinfeld there is a Superman somewhere.
  ** Average life span of a major league baseball: 7 pitches....
• Q:" How many light bulbs does it take to change a light bulb?
  "A:" One - if it knows its own Goedel number....