Related:

• I've upped my standards, now UP YOURS!
• Pastor, about donating to a charity: "I upped my pledge.
  Up yours!" (Thanks, "Tanno Gerritsen" <tanno_gerritsen@yahoo.com>)...
• I love Standards, there are so many of them!
• Hi, my Goldfish looks just like yours!
• I'm home right now . . . I'm just screening my calls.
  So just start talking and if you're someone I want to speak to I'll pick up the phone....
• A manufacturer of electric light bulbs was talking to the owner of a theater.
  I'd like to supply you with bulbs for your marquee," the manufacturer said, "and it wont cost you a cent....
• I recently saw a condom machine in a toilet which had a 'Tested to British Safety Standards' sign on it.
  .. Underneath someone had scrawled... '...SO WAS THE TITANIC !!'...
• A rancher owned 900 cows and three bulls. The biggest bull had 500 cows, the middle bull 300 and the smallest had 100.
  One day they overheard the rancher talking about getting a new bull....
• Great A Hot & Juicy Story Well, I was loafin' around the salad bar at the burger stand one chili day on Coney Island, when I Frito-Lay'd my eyes on the sweetest little tomato I'd ever seen.
  Let's just say I could tell she wasn't gonna be ice-cold or taste like some of those cheaper spreads I'd eaten....