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• I like being single.I'm always there when I need me.
• Q: Whats the most popular pick up line in a gay bar? A: "Pardon me, may I push in your stool?
• I'll have to think twice before I give it a second thought...
• I recently went to see my doctor. I said "Doctor It's me dick!
  I flopped it onto the desk, and the doctor asked "so whats the problem?...
• M R ducks M R not M R too C M wangs L I B M R ducks!
• Lord, give me patience... and I need it NOW!
• Give me patience, and I want it right NOW!
• 1) When Jim Morrison sings, I get Door-gasms. 2) I love abusing the down-trodden.
  It gives me poor-gasms. 3) Thinking about Burt Reynold's ex-lovers gives me Dinah Shore-gasms....
• lt;Phone Rings> Noisy pick-up of phone Uh...<wisperingly> Hello?
  Hi, I 'm a burgular and I was just about to steal Troy's answering machine....