Related:

• I have tried relaxing but somehow I just feel better all up-tight.
• I finally tried that Preparation H they're always talking about on TV.
  It tasted terrible, gave me bad breath, stained my teeth, and ruined my toothbrush....
• apartments --- My roommate got a pet elephant. Then it got lost.
  It's in the apartment somewhere. I installed a skylight in my apartment....
• I tried the rest but bought the best!!!!
• Woman: "Help, help, an Irishman tried to rape me!" Cop
  How do you know he was Irish?" Woman: "I had to help him....
• All I want to know is: WHY ME?
• This is a very simple trick, but you'd be surprised just how effective it is.
  When the victim is sleeping, make a shallow paper tray and scotch tape it to his door AND to the door frame near the knob....
• Another idea for a practical joke is to put goldfish in all the toilets.
  I haven't tried this, but it should be interesting to see what people do....
• I tried to contain myself, but I escaped!