Related:

• I WAS Joan of ARC...now I'm Eileen of ZIP...
• big picture --- A friend of mine once sent me a post card with a picture of the entire planet Earth taken from space.
  On the back it said, "Wish you were here." I'm moving to Mars next week, so if you have any boxes....
• I'M GLAD I'M A WOMAN (Rebuttal) I'm glad I'm a woman, yes I am, yes I am.
  I don't live off of Budweiser, Beer Nuts and Spam....
• I also heard another version, in which said Scientologists were >> arrested after putting a live rattlesnake into someone's mailbox >> (not mailing it, just dropping it in.
  ) > >I should certainly hope so! It is absolutely illegal to put a live >rattlesnake into someone's mailbox....
• THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS: COMBAT SANTA REVISITED T'was the night before Christmas, he lived all alone, in a one bedroom house made of plaster and stone.
  I had come down the chimney with presents to give, And to see just who in this home did live....
• I live in my own world... Peaceful visitors welcome...
• A man in a Porsche 911 stops at a stoplight and a guy on a scooter pulls up next to him.
  The guy on the scooter leans over and takes an admiring look at the inside of the Porsche and tells the driver that he has a really hot car....
• I'M GLAD I'M A MAN I'm glad I'm a man, you better believe.
  I don't live off of yogurt, diet coke, or cottage cheese....
• I finally tried that Preparation H they're always talking about on TV.
  It tasted terrible, gave me bad breath, stained my teeth, and ruined my toothbrush....