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• Ahhhhhhhh, I forget what I was going to say.
• Did you ever walk into a room and forget why you walked in?
  I think that's how dogs spend their lives. My mother wants grandchildren, so I said, "Mom, go for it!...
• Q: What did the egg say to the boiling water? A: "How can you expect me to get hard so fast?
  I just got laid a minute ago!...
• A Nice Jewish Dog... A guy gets a new dog, a nice Jewish dog.
  So he calls him Irving. He can't wait to show him off to his neighbor, so when the neighbor finally comes over, the guy calls Irving into the house, bragging about how smart he is....
• I owe the government $3400 in taxes. So I sent them two hammers and a toilet seat.
  I'm a Psychic Amnesiac. I know in advance what I'll forget. Sue Murphy...
• Dad's Words of Wisdom Don't ask me, ask your mother.
  Were you raised in a barn? Close the door. You didn't beat me....
• Easy" is easy to say.
• What did Gary Hart say to Donna Rice the day after the election?
  "I said LICK THE ERECTION, not WRECK THE ELECTION !!...
• Unknown What did God say after he created man? "I can do better than this.