Related:

• Thicken up runny yogurt by stirring in a lump of lard
• Eat prunes for that "get up and go" feeling!
• Eat properly, get lots of exercise - and die anyway.
• A dulcet-voiced callgirl named Shedd, Who's cultured, well-spoken, well-bred, Had achieved some renown For her tone going down - There's a nice civil tongue in her head.
• Beer is Better: You can't get drunk, no matter how many cucumbers you eat.
• * DO NOT EAT *
• Eat the young!
• It should be noted by people wishing to play practical jokes, that some people take them dead seriously.
  Such people tend to escalate the level of jokes by a couple of magnitudes....
• Hide a bunch of potato chips and Ho Hos in the bottom of a trash can.
  When you get hungry, root around in the trash. Find the food, and eat it....