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• Lucy! I theen you got some splainin to do.
• Say "Are you sure this is (Pizza Place)? When they say yes, say "Well, so is this!
  You've got some explaining to do!" When they finally offer proof that it is, in fact, (Pizza Place), start to cry and ask, "Do you know what it's like to be lied to?...
• Q: What do Len Bias and Rock Hudson have in common? A: They both got a hold of some bad crack.
• What can you do at 3 AM? PSSSTTT - got a modem?
• What can you do at 3 AM? Psssttt - got a modem??
• HE: "Do you like cocktails?" SHE: "Sure, tell me some.
• Doctor to patient in hospital: "Mr Jones, I have some good news, and I have some bad news, which shall I tell first?
  "Do begin with the bad news, please." "Allright....
• Doctor: I have some good news and I have some bad news, which shall I tell first?
  Patient: Do begin with the bad news, please. Docto...
• What do you get when you cross a lawyer with a pig?
  Nothing there are just some things a pig won't do....