I can please only one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow isn't looking good either.
A Scotsman took a hot Irish babe out in a taxi. She was so good looking that he could hardly keep his eyes on the meter.
Q: What's the difference between Aggie cheerleaders and sheep?
A: If you get lonely, you can always find a good looking sheep....
Looking for More
The Abbot of the Monastery was very strict in his routine.
Each morning, he'd come out of his cell, go into the main room where all the monks were sitting, and chant "Good Morning....
A blonde and a brunette were discussing their boyfriend
Brunette: Last night I had *three* orgasms in a row!...
A blonde friend of mine was looking for some transportation, so I bought her a Woody.
I called her up later and asked how she like it. She told me it was OK, but that it didn't look so good once she had taken it out of the crate....
How many Iraqis does it take to screw in a lighbulb?
? - None. They aren't allowed to turn on lights anymore....
Two Poles walk into the post office and the first thing that catches their eye is a bunch of "Wanted" poste
in particular a shot of a mean-looking black guy beneath a banner that says "Wanted for Rape....