Related:

• This guy buys a parrot. Every morning he stands in front of the cage and asks in a pleasant voice "Can you talk?
  This goes on for weeks with absolutely no response from the bird....
• Hi! I am a creature from outer space. I have transformed myself into your computer keyboard.
  Right now I am having sex with your fingers. I know you like it because you are smiling....
• In the wink of an event flag, Kirk was back in a COM state.
  "Spock, $WAKE" "SPOCK-F-ISTHATTHETIME-What's the matter Captain ?...
• Ahhhh, Sean," said Micheal McStain, "how'd ye be comin' by that glorious black eye, me lad?
  Sean O'Malley shook his head and replied, "'Tis the damndest thing....
• Here are two of my favorites (which I've never yet performed
  maybe I'm just not spiteful enough.) Prickly pear cacti have two kinds of spine...
• And Then There Was Man... One day in the Garden of Eden, Eve calls out to God, "Lord, I have a problem!
  "What's the problem, Eve?" "Lord, I know you've created me and have provided this beautiful garden and all of these wonderful animals, and that hilarious comedy snake, but I'm just not happy....
• There's this pheasant standing in a field chatting to a bull.
  "I would love to be able to get to the top of yonder tree" sighs our feathered friend, "but I haven't got the energy....
• My brother in Belfast mailed this joke to me. They don't get the net over there (yet), so it falls on me to forward it.
  ************************************************************************** There's this pheasant standing in a field chatting to a bull....