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• If you push something hard enough...
• Why Men Can't Win If you work too hard, you're not spending enough time with her.
  If you don't work hard enough, you're a good-for-nothing bum....
• Whats hard, and round and sticks out of your clothes far enough that you can hang a hat on it?
  -- Your head...
• Ask each passenger getting on if you can push the button for them.
• Venting If I enter an elevator and my floor is pushed, I always push it again because I know I'm a better driver.
  You know you've reached middle age when your wife tells you to pull in your stomach and you already have....
• Sign on the door of the maternity ward: "Push Push Push.
• Life is hard. . . . Then you die.
• IT'S NOT EASY BEING A GUY If you put a woman on a pedestal and try to protect her from the rat race, you're a male chauvinist.
  If you stay home and do the housework, you're a sissy....
• It's Tuff To Be A Guy... If you work too hard, there is never any time for her.
  If you don't work enough, you're a good-for-nothing bum....